Tag Archives: friendship

Monday Motivation: Choose Positive People

 

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” -Mark Twain

 

There might be people in our life who dissuade us from chasing our dreams and accomplishing our goals, because they are simply too scared to attempt their own. Sometimes we can choose who we surround ourselves with, such as our friends. Others, such as family and coworkers, are more stationary, but we can decide who we will listen to.

Choosing to spend time with those who lift us up and encourage us to pursue achievement is essential to our growth and success. If we allow discouraging nay-sayers to plant seeds of doubt into our minds, we will not be motivated to take even the smallest step toward attaining our aspirations.

It would be nice to surround ourselves with talented entrepreneurs, inventors, writers, actors, and business people, but it’s not necessary. What is crucial is to choose friends who will encourage our endeavors. Even when we encounter setbacks and difficulties, they are the ones who will cheer us on. Even when our motivation is lacking, they are the ones who will keep us going. So, remember to ignore the doubters and amplify the believers!

 

People Drain Me

introvert

 

“People empty me.  I have to get away to refill.”-Charles Bukowski

 

Some people might not understand why I genuinely enjoy spending time by myself.  The best way I can explain it is that introverts gain energy by being alone.  When they are required to be in public or they venture out in the real world of their own accord, they know they’ll eventually become drained.  Speaking, interacting, and basically communicating with others takes a lot of mental and emotional energy out of us.  Also, there is an overabundance of stimuli that may overwork our brains.  Yes, we are observers, but we can only take in so much for so long before we have to recharge.

Extroverts are the opposite.  They gain strength from being around people.  They ‘level up’ when someone pays attention to them.  They enjoy being in crowds, at parties, and at malls.  This is their natural habitat. Introverts, in turn, enjoy being at home or in quiet spaces, such as libraries, book stores, or small coffee shops.

In a room full of people, there is a constant tug of war.  The extroverts are competing for everyone’s attention as if they are doing a tap dance routine on a stage.  The introverts are the audience, silently observing everything around them and maybe taking notes in their journal.  Some extroverts may not understand why the introverts sit down and won’t join in ‘dancing’ with them.  They might look at them strangely and eventually ostracize them because they think they are weird or different.  What they must realize is that there is no audience without introverts.  There is no one to listen to them and give them a few words of well thought out advice.  Both kinds of people must exist in order for meaningful conversation to take place.

But what happens when one extrovert begins conversing with a single introvert?  Then the real battle begins:  the battle of energy.  The extrovert will approach another person with a story, expecting the introvert to respond with his or her own.  The introvert might say a few words in response, but will leave the other person dissatisfied.  Extroverts need energy from other people to fill their ‘tanks’ up.  When the flow of words doesn’t come in their direction, they might resort to asking random, personal questions.  This is usually terrifying to the introvert.  They want to have plenty of time to ponder their answers, but are not given it.  With every question asked, some energy is stolen from his or her tank and is deposited into the extrovert’s.

Does this mean that we hate people?  No.  Does this mean that we’re wary of who we let into our personal bubble?  Yes.  We enjoy spending time with a few close friends that we can trust not to completely deplete our energy supply.  When meeting a new person, we may seem stand-offish, but don’t take offense.  We may not open up to you immediately, but if and when we do, it will be special and beautiful.  We are deep thinkers of few words, but when we do speak, listen closely.  We speak softly, but our words are full of wisdom.

 

This is funny but true:  ‘How to Care For An Introvert’