To Love is to be Vulnerable

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.”  C.S. Lewis said it well.  To love someone and to allow them to love you means displaying your true self to them without any facade. It means putting yourself on the chopping block.  It means giving your heart to someone and hoping they don’t smash it into a million pieces.  But what is life without love?  It is a lonely, hollow existence.

In the beginning, God created not only man, but a helper, woman; thus, the institution of marriage began.  From the early stages of our existence, we were meant to live together in a community.  The family was formed as Adam and Eve had children.  Then the population grew over time and with friendship, beyond the confines of the ‘forced’ love of family, a unique bond was formed.

All of these are versions of love.  Boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives, family, and friends all know us better than mere acquaintances do.  They see us on our good days and bad days when we are happy, loving and kind or when we are grumpy, selfish and cruel.  They see it all whether we like it or not.  When we start hanging out with a new person, we may think, “What if they see too many flaws in me?  Will they reject me if they find out I’m messy?  What will they do if they discover I’m clumsy or have bad hair days?  What will they think of me if I say something stupid or make them angry?  Will they still love me then or will they no longer accept me and move on to someone more worthy?”

Sometimes it seems easier for me to keep to myself (I am an introvert after all), but I know that no one is meant to walk alone in this life. At times, I’d just rather not say anything than end up saying something stupid and appearing foolish to others.  I’d rather be alone than form new friendships, because they might discover something about me that they’re displeased with.  Frequently, I believe it’s easier to be single, because I don’t have to worry about sharing my life with someone and I don’t have to dread a possible heartbreak at the end of a relationship.

For awhile, I didn’t even want to start this blog, because I knew I would be writing on more personal topics than merely composing poetry and articles.  I’m making aspects of my life more accessible to readers that might not like what I have to say.  I’ve since realized that I have words to share that could possibly encourage others.  I have to share my story in the hopes of blessing someone even if it means some people may dislike what they read.

Being vulnerable means you are opening yourself up to possibly getting hurt in the future, but without the risk, there is no reward.  If I hadn’t opened myself up to people in college, I wouldn’t have the life-long friends that I have right now.  If I don’t continue to make friends where I live, I won’t have people nearby to lean on and I won’t hear the encouraging words that I need hear.  If I don’t take a chance on love, I probably won’t find a man who I want to spend the rest of my life with.  If you don’t share your life with others, you won’t get hurt, but you won’t reap any of the benefits either.  Love is hard, but it’s always worth the risk.

6 thoughts on “To Love is to be Vulnerable”

  1. Loved this! Can echo so many of those same sentiments as a fellow introvert. But ah, to be vulnerable. High risk, yet invaluable reward.

    Welcome to the blogosphere! Can’t wait to see what else you write here. Excited for this new chapter.

  2. Yes. To be vulnerable means we let the barriers drop, we are sensitive and alive. It is true we fear relationship because we are afraid of being exposed, or someone seeing us as we really are. Very, very good point. And without vulnerability, there is no deep relationship; and life is relationship.

    1. That’s very true. Life is found in experiencing love with another person and we have to become vulnerable in order for true life to happen.

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